9 years ago, today

I started this "blog" nine years ago, today. We were frightened parents, trying to keep folks informed of Kaden's prognosis and treatment. Our world was spinning out of control and we were nothing short of frightened. Prior to blogging, I'd post little updates on CarePages, but I came to the realization that the moment the hospice team was involved, the more vulnerable I would need to be, and the more I would need to share our sweet boy's journey. We had a very long road ahead of us with no final destination planned. All that was certain was we wanted our son to live and our family together. I sat down the other day and was reading some of these posts with Brian and Kaden and was a sobbing mess. I can not believe for the life of me just how much I blocked out. I suppose it was a coping method. I was crippled with anger and at other times, terrified. So, I filed it away as though it didn't exist. Yet, when I spoke to Kylee about some of the posts... she remembered everything. Oh my beautiful children... Kylee, Evan, and Brandon... you have all sacrificed so much to get our family to this place, this season in our life. You are so brave and selfless. You are strong and cherished and I only pray that this experience benefited you in a way that developed your character and didn't harm you.  Kaden is so blessed to have you, and you him. That goes for you too Gran and Popo. You talk about time moving faster and faster. I feel it too and I'm beginning to understand. My heart feels the same, yet my reflection has changed.
As for Kaden's nurses, Momma, Delona, Brad, Chris, Stacy, Rebecca, Chelsea, and everybody else that helped us get through the tough times... looking back, I shake my head in awe. It is genuine awe. Kaden was so well cared and we are grateful. There aren't words. Really, the don't exist.
That said, our boy is growing big and strong! He's still doing his "Kaden" things, but I know that God is mighty and always has His hand on Kaden. I don't really worry anymore. Some of you may laugh at that statement, but in my mind, it's true. I don't think I worry. I trust. I pray. I pray with Kaden. Our boy is becoming a pleasant young man with a wonderful disposition. He is quirky and funny and brilliant. When you look in his eyes, you can tell there are so many thoughts in his beautiful brain he could only attempt to share, because we could only attempt to understand the complexity and depth to them. I've been chosen to be the mother of two sons with those beautiful brains. I look forward to the day that Evan and Kaden can sit as gentlemen, converse, debate and theorize about the world. Evan patiently teaches his little brother proper ergonomics and the techniques one must learn with body mechanics when playing sports. Brandon and Kaden laugh. And laugh. And laugh. And laugh. Kylee offers the emotional support that only a sister can provide. She's a secret keeper. Daddy and Kaden build things, laugh, play ball, and talk... about everything. He's a talker, as long as he's interested. If he doesn't share and interest in your topic than the boy is silent. My momma and I are his primary "care providers" and teachers, and she takes him on adventures. His life is full and he's happy. We had our first day of homeschool today, with me as his learning coach and it was awesome! I truly loved every minute of it. I will treasure my son. Medically speaking- let's skip that for now. Love to all of you.

Kaden- Do you ever wonder if the stars shine just for you? Sometimes I think they do. They're like a little wink from Heaven reminding you that you are so strong.

 You are empowered. Your will, devotion and determination will sustain you. Just be you son, and watch what happens. You rock buddy.

Love, Mom