Six Years of An Incredible Journey

Six years ago, this night...I laid in a hospital bed embracing my tummy along with my husbands arms around me embracing my pregnant belly, hands intertwined with mine, waiting for the next kick from the strong little babe inside me. We talked quietly about our excitement, joy, and unrelenting fear of what the next few days would bring. We'd feel a little nudge here and there and would just smile, but buried deep behind those smiles were overwhelming waves of uncertainty. Daddy Brian would kiss my tummy and tuck us in for the night and head home to turn around and repeat the "work, kids, house, hospital routine" the very next day. What we didn't know, was that our night 6 years ago would be our last goodnight routine for that chapter to our journey. Throughout the night I prayed for peace and knew in my heart that the morning would start a new chapter of our life.

The morning light brought the sounds of hospital staff arriving for their shifts, the smell of food carts traveling around to deliver all of the patients meals, phones ringing, muffled voices, and my daily prayer to find the strength to start yet another long day in my hospital bed. That bed became my new home, my new safe place...fully knowing it was the only location where the life of our little baby would be protected.

As the morning drew on, we learned that our baby boy needed to leave my body and say hello to the world. Phone calls were made, loved ones appeared, and we dug deep to find everything it took to accept that our beautiful son would be entering the world 14 weeks too soon. To this day... the memory that is so vivid it hurts... was the fact that not only were we robbed of the privilege of feeling him in my tummy, but also of the privilege of holding him once he was born. I'm sure every parent out there understands the emptiness that you feel when you can't hold or touch your own child.
Praise the Lord that the gaping wound was soon consumed with energized emotion and the act of eagerly seeking knowledge about how to be the best parents we could be to a baby so sick. The simple fact that he was the size of a beanie baby and covered in tubes and hooked up to machines to survive became our reality. As difficult as it was at the time, it was nothing compared to what the Lord had planned for us as parents to Kaden. Every chapter house another story on this journey.

Every milestone, every achievement, every diagnoses and every difficult decision to care for Kaden brings a great flood of feelings that can't truly be described in words. Our journey has been a road less traveled by. We are fatigued at times, yet blessed abundantly. This year is one of specific significance...this is the birthday that we only hoped to see. This is the birthday that would supposedly  define our sons prognosis. Yet, with grateful hearts we have accepted that every day is a gift and no diagnoses, test, set-back, medication or any other negative factor will EVER define our son. Kaden has defied the odds and is the epitome of strength. He is God's child, and we are entrusted with him. Cheers to a wonderful day tomorrow, a birthday full of smiles and excitement, a day that can only be recognized by saying thank you. Thank you to our Lord, our children, our family, our friends, our church, our medical team, and the little babe that is now about to celebrate his sixth birthday.

Love to all, Julie